My priority going into marriage was to be patient and expect surprises. We would be fine if we didn't panic. I still try to hold true to that tenant, but it's not the item which stands out to me today.
The #1 lesson I learned in year 1:
Sarah wants the best for me.
This sounds obvious, but so does diet, exercise and spend less than you make.
I believe Sarah wants the best for me. I didn't at first, or else I wouldn't have gotten offended or upset over some things she did or said early on. What does she mean I should eat different? Why would she question "Topic X"? Why does she get upset when I do "Thing Y"? Why is she so happy when I accomplish "Goal Z"?
The answer to all of those: Because Sarah wants the best for Matt. Those times she believes something differently than me, she is telling me because she wants to help. At times I think she's upsetting me on purpose. That's incorrect, because she wants the best for me.
Sure there are times to speak up and times to give space, but I rest easy knowing she's on my side. This is a lot easier knowing we're both on God's side, as we have a mediator in the Bible when tough times come up.