I Love Sarah. Love is a special thing because it's a decision (counter to what culture tells you), and it's extra special for women. Above all else, they want to feel Loved. They want to know that Love is still there. It doesn't matter very much if there's a little Love or a lot of Love. Just so long as it's there. They feel it by us men expressing or giving Love to them. It's their air hose: women suffocate without Love and flourish with it.
I Respect Sarah. As a man, Respect is the most important thing to me. I want Love to be most important, but it really is Respect. It's an belief and a trust. You will meet few men who would rather be Loved than Respected. It is my air hose: I suffocate without Sarah expressing Respect toward me and thrive when she channels Respect toward me. Sarah doesn't care for respect nearly like Matt does, and that's OK.
Matt needs Respect but needs to give Sarah Love.
Sarah needs Love but needs to give Matt Respect.
The trick is that this isn't native to either of us. Sarah is very good at giving Love because that's what she values most. Matt is very good at giving Respect because that's what he values most. Matt needs to make a conscious decision to actively give Love to Sarah.
From the book "I Suck At Girls" by Justin Halpern:
My parents had been married thirty-two years, and my dad worshiped my mother. He was never shy about telling us that she came first. Once, when I was six, my dad put down a scientific journal he was reading over breakfast. It had a giant asteroid on the cover. He looked at me and my brothers and said, "If an asteroid hit the earth and it was a nuclear holocaust and the air was breathable, which it wouldn't be, I could be okay with your mother and I being the last two people alive."
"What about us?" my brother Evan asked.
"Well, I wouldn't just move on. There'd be a grieving period, obviously. I'm not an asshole," my dad replied before letting out a big belly laugh. My dad loves my mother as if he has a biological need to be with her.