If it exceeded your expectations, that THING will be a happy surprise. We all like happy surprises.
If it falls below your expectations, that THING will make you quite sad. Far as I can tell, us humans are very good at letting things get to us, especially unhappy surprises.
Marriage is the ultimate human relationship. It's a job you can't quit. It's one person. It's day-in day-out. It's for better and for worse.
Two important takeaways:
- It's tremendously helpful that Sarah and I both have a relationship with Jesus. He's the #1 priority in our lives and the truth. No matter what happens in this world, we can both safely default to the Bible, which is God's word. If her and my expectations become misaligned, we can fall back on our faith to seek clarity. This is very helpful, having both of our "Panic Buttons" being the same thing.
- Our #2 priority is each other. Sarah wants to fully live her life and I want to fully live mine. We especially want to help each other fully live theirs. We're being intentional about building our lives together, whether it's a Matt project or a Sarah project or a us project. Throughout all this, decisions need to be made and we won't always instinctually agree on those decisions.
Finally, how do we better align our expectations? We continue to get to know each other, continue to build a relationship and continue to prioritize each other. And always, always, assume the best of your spouse. (example: "she disagrees with me, but I bet she has a good reason for doing that")